Butt Butter!

Written by: Peter Asmuth

Today, we woke up to a cold, rainy, windy Oregon coast day, which didn’t change all day.

Over the decades, cyclists have learned, mostly the hard way, that hours of riding on a narrow seat, with your legs moving your bottom back and forth, ever so slightly, can cause tender spots, which can lead to blisters in very bad places if not treated. Various products have been developed to ease the discomfort, and one of the most popular ones is a preventative cream aptly named ‘Butt Butter’. Why, it’s so popular that they’ve even developed a female version, ‘Butt Butter for Her’, and if you give a tube of it to your wife on valentine’s day, you’ll certainly contribute to widening the gulf between the sexes.

Along with about $2,000 worth of bike gear, I got some for Genie. When I explained it’s purpose she didn’t particularly see the need for it, as she’d never used it before, but she was open to the concept since she’d never ridden 1,700 miles before. That was easy, I thought. It usually takes more convincing or one bad experience to get people to use it.

It turns out that I did a poor job of explaining where the Butt Butter actually goes. When we were assembling her bike in Seattle, she examined her bike seat and announced that she didn’t think that the seat needed the cream. I could see that a clarification was needed and said, “If it went on the seat, they would call it ‘Saddle Butter’.”

“You’re kidding me!”

“No, you apply a generous amount directly to you bottom…all over.”

“What about my underwear?

“Nobody wears underwear.”


Well, let me tell you, after a few 80 mile days of riding, Genie has become has a huge fan of Butt Butter. I overheard Genie telling another rider that she now re-applies at each rest stop. That’s a bit excessive, I thought, but that’s human nature: when something works, using more of it should work even better, right? And it’s hard to argue with the logic. Sitting in the van, I look at it like the overuse of antibiotics. Sitting on a bike seat she sees it like putting water on a fire. I guess as long as there aren’t any addictive properties in the stuff, what’s the harm!

Posted in 2017 West Coast and tagged , , , , , , , , .